German Fun

I have a daily calendar that has bits and pieces of Onion stories. Here’s the one from Monday:

What Are We Feeling That Would Be Better Expressed In German?

1. Dread of something inevitable yet benign: Fuerchtenünabwendbarfreundlich
2. The wish to see all suffer for the crimes of one: Schadenallemeinverbrechen
3. Laughter at something one knows in one’s soul is not funny: Lachenaüfkomishsnichtspaßheit
4. Shame over eating last piece of Black Forest cherry cake: Schwarzschamekirshkuchenessen